Q: Don’t you think home schooling might have a negative impact on the socialization process? I don’t want my children growing up to be misfits.

A: This is the question home schooling parents hear most often from curious or critical friends, relatives and neighbors. "Socialization" is a vague, dark cloud hanging over their heads. What if teaching at home somehow isolates the children and turns them into oddballs? For you and all those parents who see this issue as the great danger of home education, I would respectfully disagree — for these reasons.

First, to remove a child from the classroom is not necessarily to confine him or her to the house. And once beyond the schoolyard gate, the options are practically unlimited.

Home school "support groups" are surfacing in community after community across the country. Some are highly organized and offer field trips, teaching co-ops, tutoring services, social activities and various other assistance and resources. There are even home schooling athletic leagues and orchestras.

Even if you are operating completely on your own, there are outings to museums and parks; visits to farms, factories, hospitals and seats of local government; days with Dad at the office; trips to Grandma’s house; extracurricular activities such as sports and music, church and youth groups, service organizations and special-interest clubs. There are friends to be invited over and relatives to visit and parties to attend.

The list is limitless. Even a trip with Mom to the market can provide youngsters with invaluable exposure to the lives and daily tasks of adults in the real world.

While the children are there, a multitude of lessons can be learned about math (pricing, fractions, pints vs. gallons, etc.), reading labels and other academic subjects. And without the strictures of schedule and formal curriculum, the lessons can all be considered part of the educational process.

That’s what I would call "socialization" at its best. To accuse home schoolers of creating strange little people in solitary confinement is nonsense. The great advantage of home schooling, in fact, is the protection it provides to vulnerable children against the wrong kind of socialization. When children interact in large groups, the strongest and most aggressive children quickly intimidate the weak and vulnerable.

I am absolutely convinced that bad things happen to immature and "different" boys and girls when they are thrown into the highly competitive world of other children. When this occurs in nursery school or in kindergarten, they learn to fear their peers. There stands this knobby-legged little girl who doesn’t have a clue about life or how to cope with things that scare her. It’s sink or swim.

It’s easy to see why such children tend to become more peer-dependent because of the jostling they get at too early an age. Research shows that if these tender little boys and girls can be kept at home for a few more years and shielded from the impact of social pressure, they tend to be more confident, more independent and often emerge as leaders three or four years later.

If acquainting them with rejection, physical threats and the rigors of the pecking-order is necessary to "socialize" our children, I would recommend that we keep them unsocialized for a little longer.

REPRINTED FROM THE WASHINGTON TIMES - Tuesday, August 11, 1998 - Page E1 - FOCUS ON THE FAMILY" COLUMN
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