We need to accept that life
with children is full of interruptions and distractions.
With daily life, Kathryn from New Hampshire notes, "Being
flexible is very important. Phone calls, visitors and
interruptions are part of life and can enhance the day.
Instead of thinking of them as nuisances, take the time and
enjoy others. In turn it teaches the children independent
learning and self control to stay focused on their tasks and
accept flexibility in an organized day."
But what do you do when your plan "A" becomes God’s plan
"XYZ"? Interruptions and distractions are inevitable,
especially with small children. When was the last time you
did anything without interruption, even going to the
bathroom? I believe my children have a sensor which goes off
as soon as I sit down. I hear a bang on the door, and
suddenly several little people appear at the door.
A lady named Iris Krasnow wrote a book called
Surrendering to Motherhood. She left a glamorous
writing career to raise her family, and she said, "When you
stop to be where you are, then your life can really begin."
How often do we focus on where we are instead of
somewhere else? I struggle with this mightily and have been
working on just being where I am instead of having my brain
vaporize off into a bunch of different directions.
Mrs. Krasnow said, "Being there isn’t about money or even
about staying home full time. It’s about an emotional and
spiritual shift, a succumbing to being where you are when
you are, and being there as much as possible. It’s about
crouching on the floor and getting delirious over the
praying mantis you son has just caught, instead of perusing
a fax while he is yelling for your attention and you
distractedly say over your shoulder: ‘Oh, honey, isn’t that
a pretty bug.’ It’s about being attuned enough to notice
when your kid’s eyes shine so you can make your eyes shine
back."
She goes on to observe, "This Now with the children isn’t a
cage at all. It’s the marrow; finally, I have drilled and
drilled right to the Essence."
She’s talking, of course, about the essence of life - of
being connected to all of life. Could that be what it means
in the Bible when it says, "Whatever you do, work at it with
all your heart, as if working for the Lord, not for men
(Col. 3:23)?"
A Wise Woman’s Physical House
Some mornings I wake up, look around my messy house and
begin to feel a sense of dread. It’s another day of endless
chores, cooking and cleaning. My life feels like drudgery -
sheer drudgery. Where is the joy in this?
As I set about my work, I am grumbling. On a really bad
day, I lash out at the children. "Why can’t you take care of
your stuff?" I shout. Then I look at my own disheveled room
and wonder where they learned their habits.
Brother Lawrence was a man who did everything in love.
His book, The Practice of the Presence of God
(Springdale, PA, Whitaker House, 1982) revolutionized my
spiritual life. He was a humble monk who cooked and cleaned
for the other monks in his monastery. Whether he peeled
potatoes or scrubbed pots, he did it with a heart full of
the love of God. "During your meals or during your daily
duty," he said, "lift up your heart to Him, because even the
least little remembrance will please Him. You don’t have to
pray out loud; He’s nearer than you can imagine." (5)
God is near to us when we are changing diapers, scrubbing
floors or washing laundry. When we do these things with
love, they are done prayerfully and from our hearts. How
will our children learn to do those tasks in love if they
see us grumbling and grousing? They won’t. We are their
example of joy in whatever the circumstances of our lives.
Do we view the daily-ness of life as an interruption? The
diapers that need to be changed and the questions that beg
answers as distractions? Then we are missing the main thing
of mothering - the gift to be there to share it all.
I love God and the things he does. He blesses us so much.
He gives us a spouse, a house; he blesses us with children
and convicts us to home school them.
In the scope of things, the relationships we build
with our God with our families here on earth are the things
which matter most. If we can keep that perspective while
managing the little details of life, we will do the less
important things swiftly and efficiently, so we will have
time for the things which matter most.
We need to embrace all aspects of mothering and home
schooling. When you are delighted with your kids, do you
ever grab them and kiss them and embrace them? We’ve got to
embrace motherhood and all of our roles the same way - to be
whole-hearted mothers. It becomes easier to embrace
motherhood, the good the bad and the ugly, when we know that
God exalts motherhood and womanhood.
Proverbs 31 tells us that a virtuous woman’s price is far
above rubies. I used to be a lawyer, and nowhere in the
Bible does it say that about lawyers. I try to remember that
when I’ve spent the day wiping jelly and runny noses.
Lawyers are probably placed somewhere down with vipers. God
values me so much and he values the work I do as a mother.
Keeping that perspective helps tremendously on the really
hard days of mothering and home schooling.
How does the wise woman get
her house in order?
It starts with analysis. Think about these areas:
- What isn’t working well?
- What drives you crazy and causes fights?
- Who is doing what?
- What needs to be changed?
These areas cause the most difficulty for home schoolers:
- Clutter
- Chores
- Food
- Laundry
In addition to these crucial areas, a home-schooling mom
must also carve out planning time to keep all the other
areas of life running smoothly. Finally, if she is not
fainting from exhaustion, she should think about having some
good, old-fashioned family fun.
For each of these areas which annoy you, there are
several options:
- Continue to do the task yourself, the way you have
always done it.
- Learn to do it better, more efficiently, with less
stress.
- Have someone else in the family do it.
- Have someone outside the family do it.